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I wanted to die. It was that simple. I prayed to God every day that he would take me out of this world, but still provide for my wife and kids. I thought I was a burden to them. I felt I let them down because I wasn’t successful, in my opinion. I wanted my life to be over, but not at my doing. Suicide was not an option for me. That’s why I prayed for God to end my life.

That was two years ago.

I prayed for divine intervention, and I got it. I’m still here. God, in his wisdom, said “no” to my foolish prayer to die at age 30. Boy, am I thankful for that.

The divine intervention came in the form of a loving family, a talented and caring staff of medical professionals and pastors at my church with a passion for serving troubled souls. Which was exactly what I needed.

I was diagnosed with depression. At first, I was upset because, in my mind, I was being labeled as a crazy person. I wasn’t crazy, just ill — mentally ill. Sadly, many people link mental illness with being crazy.

Mental illness is a chemical imbalance in the brain. What happened with me (in layman’s terms) is the chemical in the brain that tells the brain to cope with trying circumstances became less effective over time and diminished my ability to physically and emotionally handle difficult situations. Instead of taking issues head-on, I felt like running away and hiding — even dying.

It wasn’t until I took the advice of a counselor and the urging of my family to seek professional help — physical, emotional and spiritual — that I began to feel better. Here I am two years later feeling much better about life, even though there might be a few minor bumps in the road that people without depression encounter.

Why am I telling you this? May is Mental Health Awareness Month.

According to allaboutdepression.com, roughly 19 million Americans are affected by depression. Those are the cases we know about. Think of all the cases that go undiagnosed and unreported. The fact is, you or someone you know might have or had depression and didn’t even know.

Depression is an illness that shouldn’t be brushed aside with a “quit your whining, pull yourself up and buck up” reaction. Depression should be treated by a medical professional in connection with your family and the pastor at your church.

That’s why I encourage to learn more about this common illness called depression. There are all sorts of resources on the Internet like www.allaboutdepression.com. Or go to your local library and ask your librarian for assistance.

Please take the time to sharpen your knowledge during Mental Health Awareness Month.

Columnist Tim Gray, a West Salem resident, can be reached at tim.gray.matter@gmail.com.